Funny horoscope quotes

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Commentary:
“Talk about customizing your universe! Looks like someone’s reading between the stars to create their perfect match. Who needs a horoscope when you’ve got a personalized cosmic connection? #selectiveastrology”

4 months ago

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Commentary:
“Horoscope: This week, the universe seems to think you’re Dracula in disguise – don’t be surprised if you find yourself involuntarily donating blood #UnexpectedlyGenerous #VampireVibes”

4 months ago

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Commentary:
Looks like your horoscope is just as reliable as that jam-packed shopping list you had for the closed supermarket! Don’t worry, the universe may have a quirky sense of humor, but that just means the anticipation for those good things will make them even sweeter when they finally arrive!

4 months ago

Funny horoscope quotes

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