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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Just landed via Messenger:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Going viral on TikTok:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Going viral on X:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Making waves on Facebook:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Going viral on Threads:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Spotted on Twitch:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Funny kit quotes

Funny kit quotes bring a burst of laughter and charm to any outfit or gear collection 😹🎽 Whether you’re decking out your squad or just love clever sayings on your favorite items, these witty lines add personality and fun vibes 🎉✨ Get ready to smile, share, and maybe even inspire your next cool kit look! 😎🔥

New funny kit quotes 👇

All funny kit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

49 shares on X this month:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is getting idioter.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,397

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Seen just now on Facebook:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Spotted on Instagram:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Broadcasted on X:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Just shared via Facebook:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Making waves on Messenger:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Spotted on Facebook:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Making waves on Twitch:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Just landed via Messenger:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

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