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17 Funny mine quotes

More funny mine quotes 👇

  • Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

    Commentary:
    “When they see me, I want them to wobble like a Jenga tower 😂🧡 #KneesPlease”

  • I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

    Commentary:
    “Sure, be the villain in their story – after all, they’re just a clown in yours! 🤡💥 Who needs a hero when you’ve got a comedy show to watch unfold? 😆 #VillainVsClown”

  • Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

    Commentary:
    “Money talks, but apparently mine speaks fluent ‘Goodbye’! 💸🚪 Looks like my wallet has commitment issues. 💔😆”

  • Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

    Commentary:
    “Next time someone questions if your dog is adopted, hit ’em with that ‘biologically mine’ sass! 🐾 Don’t mess with the paw-sonalities in this pack! 🤣 #FurReal #DoggyDNA”

  • The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone took ‘traveling light’ a bit too literally! 🚂💼😅 #ForgetfulTraveler #MinimalistGoals”

  • Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like science is all bones and no fun, while English lit is about to get a major body makeover! 💀📚 Let’s add a splash of intrigue to those old dusty books! Who knew cadavers could be so well-read?”

  • How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

    Commentary:
    🎨 “Ah, the mysteries of parenting through the ages! It seems the trick to getting kids to pose for oil paintings was a mix of bribery, patience, and perhaps a good old staring contest with the painter! 🖼️ Definitely a different level of ‘hold that smile’ endurance compared to modern family photos, right?” 🤣

  • “I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

    Commentary:
    “Sharing fries is the ultimate test of friendship…unless you’re the one constantly giving up your delicious, golden treasures to “former friends.” 🍟😂 Remember, friends don’t let friends steal their fries!”

  • I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘free speech for me, not for thee’ argument – a true masterpiece of irony. 🎤🤫 It’s like saying ‘I believe in sharing, but only if it’s my ice cream!’ 🍦😂 #SelectiveFreeSpeech #ShhJustListen”

  • Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the joys of cohabitation! 🏠👫 Sounds like she’s really taking the concept of a “veggie ale” to a whole new level! 🍺🥦 Who knew the beer compartment could have such a versatile use? 😄 #RelationshipQuirks

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