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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Spotted on Facebook:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Just landed via X:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Going viral on Twitch:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Just landed via Reddit:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Just landed via WeChat:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Funny obedience quotes

Funny obedience quotes bring a hilarious twist to following rules and staying in line 😄🚦 Whether you’re a rule-breaker at heart or just need a good laugh about those moments when obedience feels impossible, these witty sayings will have you chuckling 🤣👌 Get ready to see discipline in a whole new, entertaining light! 🎉🐾

New funny obedience quotes 👇

All funny obedience quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on TikTok this month:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

97 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

24 shares on Threads this month:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite color is sunshine.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Going viral on X:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Spotted on Threads:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Seen just now on Slack:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Making waves on Reddit:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Making waves on Slack:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

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