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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Just shared via Twitch:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Making waves on YouTube:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Making waves on Slack:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Breaking via Facebook:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Just landed via WeChat:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

51 shares on X this month:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Trending via X:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Making waves on WeChat:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Trending via Twitch:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Spotted on Slack:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Live now on Instagram:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Seen just now on Slack:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

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