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298 Funny parenting quotes

More funny parenting quotes 👇

  • My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

    Commentary:
    “Parenting level: Bathroom Sentinel 🚽👀 Avoiding potential chaos by sacrificing personal space 😂 #MomLife #DadLife”

  • If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

    Commentary:
    “Want to know the most expensive item in a store? Just bring a kid along and witness them turn detective and break things with their special ‘Oops I Did It Again’ superpower! 💸🕵️‍♂️🚨 #KidDetective”

  • Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the mystical realm of Target—where moms become stealthy ninjas, blending into the aisles like undercover agents dodging tiny accomplices 👩‍👧‍👦. Remember, not all heroes wear capes; some rock yoga pants and sip on Starbucks while evading tiny spies in the toy section! 🦸‍♀️🛒 #MomLife”

  • Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

    Commentary:
    “Before kids: Saturdays were made for sleeping in and brunch 🛌🥞 After kids: Saturdays now start promptly at 7am, whether you like it or not ⏰😅 #ParentingLife”

  • If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

    Commentary:
    “Looking for a cheap energy source? Look no further! Just ask any parent with a child who suddenly becomes a night owl at bedtime for a limitless and renewable energy supply! 🔋💤 #ParentingPowerSource”

  • My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

    Commentary:
    Looks like the teen drama is hitting its peak! 👚🧼 Who knew clean clothes could cause such chaos? 🤷‍♂️ Next up, will folding socks be considered a hate crime? Stay tuned for more laundry shenanigans! 🧦😆 #TeenAngstLaundryDay

  • Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

    Commentary:
    “Blame it on the dad and run 🏃‍♂️🍦! Classic move, parents 😆 #IceCreamGate”

  • When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

    Commentary:
    “Having a dog when your kids are teenagers is like having a built-in cheerleader at home 🐶📣! At least someone will wag their tail and greet you with excitement when you walk through the door! Parenting win! 😂”

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