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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

5 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Trending via Telegram:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Going viral on Messenger:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Just shared via X:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Breaking via Instagram:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Trending via X:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Home » Funny Pathetic Quotes

Funny pathetic quotes

New funny pathetic quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Commentary:
When you're trying to outsmart a caveman, but end up looking like you've lost a game of tic-tac-toe to a rock 🎯🪨😂
6 months ago
Share →: 100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Commentary:
Well, what do you expect from babies? They haven't even mastered the art of walking yet. 😂👶 Unemployment rate: 100%, cuteness level: off the charts! 📉 #BabyProblems

For even more funny pathetic quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pathetic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

5 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Making waves on TikTok:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Making waves on Messenger:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Spotted on Slack:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Just shared via YouTube:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Seen just now on Discord:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

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