Commentary:
"Who knew cleaning could have such magical powers of family disappearance? 😂🏡✨ Looks like the backyard is the new family hangout spot! #ThanksgivingEscapePlan"
More funny quotes 👇
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Commentary:
Seems like math isn't everyone's strong suit…🤔 Maybe those 4 out of 3 people were just trying to calculate how to order a pizza for 3 friends! 🍕 Who knew numbers could be so tricky! 😂 #MathHumor -
Commentary:
"Looks like the future didn't see this coming! 🔮🚫 Who could have predicted this plot twist? Now we'll never know what the crystal ball had in store for us! 😅 #UnexpectedTwists" -
Share →: Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.Commentary:
"Who needs therapy when you can have a fabulous dress? 💁♀️🛍️ Retail therapy is the best kind of self-care – with a side of fashion! 💃💳 #ShoppingHeals" -
Share →: My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.Commentary:
🍔🔥 "My goal was to rock that bikini this summer, but alas, the alluring sizzle of the barbecue proved to be a formidable opponent. Can’t resist the aroma of grilled goodness! Looks like my summer body will have to wait… Pass me the BBQ sauce! 😅👙" -
Commentary:
"Who knew laziness could be so fabulous? 😂 It's a tough choice between getting things done and embracing the awesomeness of laziness! 💁♂️💤 Keep slaying that lazy game, my friend!" -
Commentary:
"Whoever said 'you made your bed now lie in it' clearly never experienced the luxury of freshly-made hotel beds 🛏️. I'll happily lie in any bed as long as there's a cozy blanket and some good snacks nearby! 💁♂️😂 #LazyLuxury" -
Commentary:
Well, isn't life just the sommelier of chaos! 🍷👔 One moment you're crisp and pristine like a white shirt, and the next thing you know, you're stained with the bold hues of red wine – a fashion faux pas of epic proportions! Here's to navigating the spills and splashes of life with elegance and a handy bottle of stain remover! 💃🍇 -
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal salad dilemma – when does it transform from a bed of healthy greens to a sneaky delivery vehicle for crispy, delicious bacon? 🥗🥓🤔 Let's just say, if you need to go hunting for lettuce amongst the bacon bits, you might have crossed that 'salad' line!" -
Share →: It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.Commentary:
"Trying to explain to your family the mental gymnastics you've been doing all night like 🤯💤… And all they can say is 'Who asked you to overthink, though?' 🤷♂️🤷♀️ #TheOverthinkingStruggle"
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Who needs summer abs when you can have a perfectly balanced beach chair instead? 🏖️💪 Just remember, it's all about finding the right angle for that optimal lounging experience! 😅🪑 #BeachChairGoals
Taking a break from social media can really open your eyes to the world around you – like the realization that you're still somehow legally bound to another human being. Who knew that scrolling through endless cat videos could distract you from checking in on your own love life?
Who needs to judge based on superficial criteria when you can simply judge people for their bad behavior? It's like skipping the appetizer and going straight for the main course of judgment! 🙅♂️🌈 Just say no to discrimination and yes to calling out bad behavior wherever you see it! 💁♀️
Ah, the age-old question: What Would Jesus Buy? 🤔 Turns out, it's fish sandwiches all around! 😄🐟 Bon appétit, my friend! Let the gift of mystery and deliciousness be with you! 🎁🥪
Ah, the classic 'liquid courage meets intense gaze' situation. 🍸👀 It's like a high-stakes game of staring contest with a twist – and by twist, I mean the potential for awkward confessions and questionable decisions! Proceed with caution, folks. 😆
Living life to the fullest and planning my grand finale with a touch of German flair! 💀🇩🇪 Who says death can't be dramatic and bizarre? 🎭 #LifeGoals #GermanVocab
Ah, the eternal debate of who's naughty and who's nice! 🤔 Let's face it, we're all a bit mischievous at heart, but some just have a black belt in cheekiness! 😈🌟