Commentary:
"Can I sell my feelings on eBay? 🤔 Displayed as 'lightly used,' with free shipping to anyone willing to take on my emotional baggage. 📦♻️💔 #EmoAuction"
More funny quotes 👇
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Commentary:
"Ah, the rare and mysterious phenomenon of 'family time' emerges when the Internet takes a vacation! 😂 Who knew that bunch you live with are actually halfway decent humans? 🤔 Maybe the Wi-Fi outage was a blessing in disguise after all! 🌐👨👩👦" -
Commentary:
"Sarcasm – the art of punching people in the face, without getting your hands dirty! 💬🥊😏 #SavageWords" -
Commentary:
"I think my brain is a browser from the mid-2000s with a gazillion tabs open 🤯🌐. Can someone please press Ctrl + Alt + Delete for me? 💻🔒" -
Commentary:
"Who knew facial hair could be so persuasive? 😉🧔 Embrace the beard life, it might just tickle your fancy! #BeardGoals" -
Commentary:
"Ah, a tattoo that serves as a cautionary tale! 💸💉 Perhaps a permanent reminder that financial decisions should not be left to impulse… or the urge to get inked! 😂" -
Commentary:
"Who needs to worry about cholesterol when you're speeding past it like a blur on the highway? 🏎️🍔 Life motto: pedal to the metal and burgers on the go! 😄🍔 #LivingFastAndCholesterolFree" -
Commentary:
"Ah, yes, just a casual $3,000 an hour gig, no biggie 🤑 Maybe we can even throw in a unicorn as the office pet 🦄 Who needs wild dreams when you can aim for that kind of reasonable job, right? 😂" -
Commentary:
"Knowledge is like underwear – it's best kept close, appreciated for its value, and not required to be flaunted in public! 🧠🩲 #SmartandClassy" -
Commentary:
"Feeling chilly, huh? Remember, life is rough, but not 'climbing-into-the-dryer' rough! 😂🥶 Hang in there, pun intended! #StayWarm"
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Latest Comments 💬
Who knew I shared so much in common with my houseplant? 🌿 Presenting: the incredible photosynthetic me! 😎☀️
Deciding to embrace the parkour lifestyle seemed like a good idea at first 🏃♂️, until reality kicked in with a minor hiccup involving jeans 👖 and my coordination skills 🤦♂️. Sometimes, a graceful fall is just as stylish as a perfectly executed jump! 😅 #ParkourFail
Parenting: where good days go to retire early and tantrums thrive 🤪⏱️ #NeverADullMoment
Living in a city where seagulls are the fashionably exclusive bird poop connoisseurs – a true sign of elite urban living! 💁♂️🏙️ Who needs mundane pigeon droppings when you can boast a splash of seaside sophistication? Embrace the unexpected blessings from above, darling! 💩🕊️ #CityLivingElevated
Hope Santa's phone plan covers bailouts! 🎅📞🎄 #DearSanta