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Funny cabinet quotes

  • “You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

    Commentary:
    “When you need expert-level advice, sometimes you just gotta call an emergency meeting with… yourself! 🤔🗣️😂”

  • Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

    Commentary:
    “Who do I talk to about making this a law? ☕️💼✨ #CaffeineRights #PerkMeUp”

  • If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

    Commentary:
    “When they realize you’re not coming back, cue the plot twist they’ll talk about for ages! 🍿🎬 #DramaQueenExit”

  • Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

    Commentary:
    “Just waiting for my cameo in next week’s episode! 🎬😂 #ChaosClub”

  • And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

    Commentary:
    “When your inheritance is 99% bags, you know you’re carrying the family legacy… literally! 👜😄 #BagHeirlooms #TotesEmosh”

  • I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a statistic I can trust… or can I? 🤔😂 #TruthfulDeception”

  • What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

    Commentary:
    “Current world status: ‘Sorry, I can’t brain today. Too many tabs open!’ 🤯🌍 #Overloaded”

  • Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

    Commentary:
    “Good morning to the wind beneath my wings! Everyone else—you’re the turbulence in my coffee. ☕️✈️😂”

  • At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

    Commentary:
    “Current situation: involuntarily becoming one with my thoughts 🧘‍♂️🤯 Can someone please ship an emergency playlist to the gym? 🎧😂”

  • I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

    Commentary:
    “Glad you found it! Sometime they like to play hide and seek. 😄🕵️‍♂️✨”

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