Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,243

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Trending via WeChat:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Going bananas on Slack:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Just landed via Reddit:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Making waves on Messenger:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Just shared via Slack:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Live now on Threads:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Funny cucumber quotes

Funny cucumber quotes 🥒😂 are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your day! Whether you’re a salad lover or just here for the giggles, these witty lines will tickle your funny bone and keep things cool as a cucumber 😎💚. Get ready to laugh, share, and maybe even see this crunchy veggie in a whole new light! #CucumberComedy #VeggieVibes

New funny cucumber quotes 👇

All funny cucumber quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Messenger this month:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

84 shares on Slack this month:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

69 shares on X this month:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Making waves on Reddit:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Just landed via WeChat:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Trending via Instagram:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

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