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87 Funny days quotes

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

3 months ago

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

3 months ago

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

3 months ago

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

3 months ago

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

3 months ago

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

3 months ago

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

3 months ago

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

3 months ago

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

3 months ago

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

3 months ago

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

3 months ago

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

3 months ago

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

3 months ago

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

3 months ago

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

3 months ago

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

3 months ago

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

3 months ago

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

3 months ago

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

3 months ago

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

3 months ago