Commentary:
"Oh, the power of email strikes again! It's like a ninja, lurking in the digital shadows, ready to disrupt our peace and productivity. Who knew a simple 'ping' could shatter the illusion of a well-balanced day? Watch out, folks, the inbox bandit strikes when you least expect it!"

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.
Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging gracefully – where taking a nap becomes a vital part of your 'doing nothing' routine. It's like hitting the snooze button on life, just to make sure you're fully prepared for all that inactivity ahead!"
Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless struggle of doing nothing! It's a never-ending quest with no clear finish line in sight. Just when you think you've mastered the art of doing nothing, you realize that there's always more nothing to be done. It's a true test of patience and perseverance, with the ultimate reward being… well, nothing!"

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.
Commentary:
"Looks like this account has some serious commitment issues – can't decide if it wants to be an Airbnb or a social media star! Just make sure to leave a good review if you crash here for the night."

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
Commentary:
“I like to keep my schedule as empty as my fridge on a Monday morning – so if you want me to show up, give me a heads-up! My plan to do nothing is a serious commitment that requires proper notice!”