Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Trending via Threads:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Just shared via Messenger:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Spotted on Slack:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Making waves on X:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Spreading quickly via X:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

13 Funny dropped quotes

Funny dropped quotes are those hilarious moments when words slip, trips happen, or thoughts tumble out in the most unexpected ways 😂💬 Whether it’s a slip-up that cracks you up or a phrase gone wonderfully wrong, these gems never fail to brighten your day 🌟✨ Get ready to laugh out loud and share the funniest verbal blunders that keep conversations lively and unpredictable! 🎉🤣

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

86 shares on Messenger this month:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

44 shares on Threads this month:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,736

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Going viral on YouTube:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Making waves on Twitch:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Going viral on X:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Making waves on Twitch:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Spotted on Threads:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Seen just now on TikTok:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Just shared via Slack:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

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