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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Just landed via Instagram:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I love having plans to cancel.

Going viral on X:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Trending via Facebook:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Funny elegant quotes

Funny elegant quotes bring together wit and charm in the most delightful way 🎩✨ Perfect for adding a sprinkle of humor to any classy moment, these clever lines make sophistication feel lighthearted and fun 😄💫 Whether you’re looking to impress with a smile or brighten up a fancy gathering, get ready to enjoy a blend of laughter and elegance like never before! 🎉💬

New funny elegant quotes 👇

All funny elegant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

86 shares on Threads this month:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Going viral on Discord:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Going viral on WeChat:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Trending via Twitch:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Spotted on Reddit:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

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