I haven't exaggerated in like a million years.

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Commentary:
"Wow, someone call the Exaggeration Police 🚔 because we've got a rare species here! It's been a million years since they last stretched the truth! 🤥😂"

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Commentary:
"No worries, I understand the struggle! Just remember, even superheroes need a night off from time to time. 🦸‍♂️ Stay strong, my friend, and may the force be with you against those pesky foes! 💪😄"

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Commentary:
"Who needs twin telepathy when you have bills to pay and work deadlines to meet? 🙅‍♂️👯‍♂️ #AdultingStruggles"

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Commentary:
"Your honor, forget the verdict, let's focus on the real MVP here – the brownie maker extraordinaire! 🍫👩‍⚖️ Courtrooms could definitely use more sweet treats and less legal jargon! Who needs justice when you have brownies, am I right? 😜 #BrowniesForJustice"

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Commentary:
"Looks like you missed the boat on complaints! 🚢 Better luck next time! ⏳😄"

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Commentary:
"I wasn't naked, I was just rocking out to some tunes! 🎶📻 Who needs clothes when you've got music, right? 😂 #RadioIsLife"