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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Going viral on Instagram:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Making waves on Facebook:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Making waves on Facebook:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Funny funny statement quotes

Funny funny statement quotes are the perfect way to brighten your day and spark laughter 😂✨ Whether you need a quick mood boost or a clever line to share with friends 🤪💬, these witty gems never fail to deliver smiles. Get ready to embrace the silly side of life and spread some joy—because who doesn’t love a good laugh? 😄🎉 #LaughOutLoud #GoodVibes

New funny funny statement quotes 👇

All funny funny statement quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Messenger this month:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

63 shares on Discord this month:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

90 shares on Threads this month:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

98 shares on X this month:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,514

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Going viral on Twitch:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Live now on Messenger:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Going viral on Instagram:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Just landed via TikTok:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Shared recently on Instagram:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Just landed via Discord:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Shared recently on Discord:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Making waves on YouTube:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

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