Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,272

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Making waves on Twitch:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Just landed via Telegram:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Funny highway quotes

Funny highway quotes 🚗💨 are the perfect way to add some laughs to those long stretches of road! Whether you’re stuck in traffic or cruising with the windows down, these witty sayings bring a little humor to the journey. Buckle up and get ready to smile, because hitting the highway just got a whole lot more entertaining! 😂🛣️✨

New funny highway quotes 👇

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

3 weeks ago

boredom, Christmas, Christmas morning, cop, cops, enforcement, excited, family, gun, hell, highway, holiday, hours, humor, ignore, law, law enforcement, morning, radar, radar gun, sit, traffic, wake
Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

2 months ago

crazy, driving, highway, humor, McDonald’s, merge, observation, people, perfectly, traffic
Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

2 months ago

confrontation, driving, feel, frustration, highway, humor, let, me, merge, power, powerful, traffic
Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

2 months ago

car, driving, feature, highway, humor, making, maybe, newer, oh, shake, stopped, technology, weird
I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

2 months ago

adopt, driveway, highway, humor, i, own, raise, ready, responsibility
Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

3 months ago

bathroom, bathrooms, cars, convenience, frustration, highway, humor, life, travel
Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

3 months ago

analogy, driving, fear, highway, humor, journey, life, merge

All funny highway quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

82 shares on X this month:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you in a well.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Trending via Telegram:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Just shared via Telegram:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Just landed via X:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Breaking via Reddit:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

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