Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Making waves on Reddit:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Trending via YouTube:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Spotted on Reddit:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Funny house cat quotes

Funny house cat quotes 🐱 bring out the quirky charm and mischievous spirit of our feline friends 😹. From their sassy attitudes to those unexpected naps 💤, these sayings capture everything that makes house cats irresistibly amusing 😺. Whether you’re a proud cat parent or just love a good laugh, get ready to smile and relate to the purrfectly funny world of kitty antics! 🐾✨

New funny house cat quotes 👇

All funny house cat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Slack this month:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

86 shares on X this month:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

84 shares on X this month:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Just landed via Reddit:

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Trending via Instagram:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Just landed via X:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Just landed via TikTok:

I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

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