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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Going viral on X:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Live now on WeChat:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Live now on Facebook:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Just shared via Twitch:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Making waves on X:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Making waves on TikTok:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Funny lactose quotes

Funny lactose quotes are here to milk your laughter 🥛😂 Whether you’re a cheese lover or dairy daredevil, these witty lines will have you giggling through the gas 🤪🧀 Say goodbye to boring snacks and hello to creamy chuckles that celebrate all things lactose—because sometimes, humor is the best side dish! 🥳🐄 #LactoseLife

New funny lactose quotes 👇

All funny lactose quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Threads this month:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

87 shares on Discord this month:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Making waves on Discord:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Breaking via Threads:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Just shared via Discord:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

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