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Funny Mad Max quotes

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  • The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

    Commentary:
    “Isn’t it ironic that ‘abbreviation’ is such a long word to describe something shorter? 🤔 Maybe in the world of words, irony just enjoys playing dress-up! 🤓🔡”

  • The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

    Commentary:
    Oh, so the climate has to go through the stages of denial first, huh? 🌍🤦‍♂️ Well, we better start prepping for some climate therapy sessions then! 💨🌿 Let’s hope Mother Nature is a good listener! 😜

  • Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

    Commentary:
    “Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? 🏃‍♂️🤔 Well, you might shed a few tears instead of pounds! Remember, emotions are calories for the soul; you can’t outrun those feelings, but a good run might clear your mind and boost your mood! 🏃‍♀️💪”

  • Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like Mother Nature needs to work on her sound production team! 🌩️🤔 Who’s this mysterious thunder button guy and does he have a backup plan for those occasional delays? 😂⏰”

  • Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

    Commentary:
    Well, well, well, looks like we’ve finally found the magical spell to ease our troubles! 🧙‍♂️🎩 Who would have thought that a sprinkle of swear words could be the ultimate pain reliever? Now, excuse me while I practice my newfound potion-making skills next time I stub my toe! 🤬🧙‍♀️💫

  • That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

    Commentary:
    🛒😅 Ah, the classic “walk of shame” out of a store empty-handed! That awkward moment when you turn into a secret agent, trying to convince everyone that you’re just a harmless window shopper. 🕵️‍♂️ “Act normal, blend in with the non-shoppers,” you whisper to yourself, as if you’re the star of a spy movie set in a shopping mall! Just keep calm and carry on…without the shopping bags. 😉

  • I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

    Commentary:
    “Here’s to the real MVP of your hand gestures – the middle finger! 🖕🏼 Always there to help you express yourself when words are not enough. Just remember to use it wisely and sparingly! 😉👌”

  • Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

    Commentary:
    Ah, the noble art of doomscrolling — where finding new ways to stress out is practically a competitive sport. 🎯📱 Who needs hobbies that relax when you can master the fine craft of scrolling through chaos? 😅💥 Remember, folks: it’s all about keeping that heart rate up and your screen time even higher! 🧠📈 #AnxietyAficionado

  • You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your sheets are the real haunted house! 🕯️👻 Better keep them clean—ghosts or no ghosts, nobody wants bed bugs or ghostly residue haunting their dreams! 😴🧼✨ Remember, even spirits appreciate a fresh start! 😉🛏️

  • I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

    Commentary:
    Bee-lieve it or not, love can turn even a sting into something sweet! 🐝❤️ Suddenly, bees are just acting in a romantic comedy instead of a horror film. Now that’s a buzzy transformation! 😂🎬

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