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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Trending via Snapchat:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Spotted on Reddit:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Freshly posted on Discord:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Just landed via Slack:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Funny monogamous quotes

Funny monogamous quotes are the perfect way to laugh at love’s quirks while celebrating commitment ❤️‍🔥! Whether you’re happily taken or just curious about the ups and downs of one-partner life, these witty gems will brighten your day and remind you that sticking to one can be both hilarious and heartwarming 😂💍. Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe even share a little inside joke with your special someone! 💑✨

New funny monogamous quotes 👇

All funny monogamous quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Making waves on Messenger:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Breaking via Twitch:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Trending via Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Going viral on Reddit:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

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