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Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?
The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.
That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.
Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.
Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

More funny never quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Commentary:
Ah, the struggle of the old-school wired headphones… The feeling of heartbreak as your favorite song fades in and out, echoing the ups and downs of your emotions 😢 But hey, at least the younger generation won't have to experience the unique pain of untangling those pesky wires! 🎧🤦‍♂️ #BluetoothLife
5 months ago
Share →: Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'out of sight, out of mind' clearly never had a spidery roommate pulling a Houdini inside their tent! 🕷️🕵️‍♂️ #HideAndSeekChampion"
5 months ago
Share →: “You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Commentary:
"Being graceful is overrated anyways, who needs it when you have spunk and sass? 💁‍♀️ Keep strutting your fabulous self – grace can take a hike! 😜👠 #NoGraceNoProblem"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Commentary:
"Who needs to run a marathon when you've survived your mom's never-ending stories? 🏃‍♂️💨 Talk about true endurance training! #MomStoriesForTheWin"
5 months ago
Share →: Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of cleaning up after little ones – a never-ending adventure! 🤖🗑️ Imagine a robot garbage can dutifully trailing behind your kids like a loyal sidekick, ready to scoop up messes in a flash. It might not be a Roomba, but hey, a garbage can on wheels could revolutionize parenting! 😂👶🏼✨
5 months ago
Share →: I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Commentary:
"Gun violence? Nah, I'm more of a 'reload my pill caddy and remote batteries' kind of person. Stay loaded, but in a different way! 💊🔋😅"
5 months ago
Share →: I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Commentary:
"Blood pressure kits: when the struggle to fit everything back in that tiny zip-up bag becomes the real test of your cardiovascular endurance. 💼😂 #ZipItRealGood"
5 months ago
Share →: Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'out of sight out of mind' clearly never experienced the heart-pounding panic of realizing a spider has gone missing in the bedroom 🕷️🕸️😱 Talk about a reality check in the arachnophobia department!"
5 months ago
Share →: Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Commentary:
“When life gives you sass, respond with class 😏🤯 #SarcasmVersusDiplomacy”
5 months ago
Share →: I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Commentary:
"Maybe the tennis balls have been practicing their synchronized swimming skills without us knowing! 🎾🏊‍♂️ Who knew a game of tennis could turn into a wet and wild adventure?! 🌊😄"