278 Funny never quotes

Trending Funny never Quotes

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.
Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.
If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.
I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.
The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

More funny never quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Commentary:
"Need to shed some pounds for summer? No problem! Just sneak those extra snacks into your luggage at the airport and voilà – instant weight loss, guaranteed! 🧳✈️ Say goodbye to those pesky pounds, bon voyage!"
5 months ago
Share →: I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the generation gap would be measured in decibels… and mild annoyance levels? 🎵😂 Turns out, sometimes our ears need a break from the 'tunes' of the young folks! 🎧👴 #CrankyTunes"
5 months ago
Share →: Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic relationship dynamics at play! 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️ It's like a never-ending game of "he said, she said" with a sprinkle of selective memory thrown in for good measure. Remember, communication is key, folks! 🗝️💬 Or else you’ll end up in that infamous “You never told me!” territory. 😄 #RelationshipRealities
5 months ago
Share →: Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'Don't cry over spilled milk' clearly never worked a 9-5! 💼😂 Remember, your tears are worth something in the office – just make sure to invoice for emotional labor!"
5 months ago
Share →: Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Commentary:
🤣👖 Who needs pants anyway? The ultimate diet hack – skip pants, avoid tightness! Say goodbye to uncomfortably snug waistbands and hello to freedom! Get ready to live your best pants-less life! #PantsFreeDiet 🚫👖
5 months ago
Share →: I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Commentary:
"Seems like procrastination is the key to immortality!⏳😂 Who knew deadlines were actually the secret to everlasting life?⏱️💀 #ForeverProcrastinating"
5 months ago
Share →: Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Commentary:
"Office jobs: where paper cuts are considered extreme sports 📄💥 Don't underestimate the danger lurking in the seemingly innocent world of staplers and binders! 💼😆"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a marriage certificate when you've got divorce experience? It's all about that perfect balance of commitment and independence 😅💔 #RelationshipStatusExpert"
5 months ago
Share →: All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Commentary:
"Well, maybe they're just not into the paw-fect attendance policy 🐾🐕 Who can blame them though? With all that unconditional love and tail-wagging joy, they've probably already secured a spot in doggy heaven anyway!"
5 months ago
Share →: If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Commentary:
"Cheeseburgers: the ultimate mood swing ninjas 🍔🤪 One bite and you'll be experiencing a whole new level of happiness – it's like a delicious flavor rollercoaster for your taste buds! 🎢 #CheeseburgerMagic"