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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

888 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,050

Funny Quotes Topics

13,987

Funny Quotes Images

11,050

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Shared recently on Discord:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Just landed via Threads:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Making waves on Threads:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Just shared via Instagram:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Spotted on Threads:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Spotted on Reddit:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

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Funny nightstand quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

888 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,050

Funny Quotes Topics

13,987

Funny Quotes Images

11,050

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Just landed via YouTube:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Going viral on Reddit:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Shared recently on X:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Shared recently on Discord:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

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