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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Just landed via Messenger:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Making waves on Messenger:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Going viral on YouTube:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Seen just now on X:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Just landed via Threads:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Trending via Slack:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Funny opposite direction quotes

New funny opposite direction quotes 👇

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

6 days ago

chores, direction, dishwasher, domestic, domestic life, feel, feel something, humor, just, life, opposite, opposite direction, relatable, something, unloading

All funny opposite direction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on X this month:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

88 shares on X this month:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

61 shares on X this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Going viral on TikTok:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

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Funny opposite direction quotes

New funny opposite direction quotes 👇

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

All funny opposite direction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨