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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Trending via Messenger:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Making waves on Discord:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Breaking via Instagram:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Funny out of shape quotes

Funny out of shape quotes are the perfect way to laugh at those lazy days and fitness fails 🤣🏋️‍♂️ Whether you skipped the gym or just can’t remember the last time you exercised, these witty lines will have you smiling and feeling less alone on your couch potato journey 🛋️🍕 Get ready to embrace the humor in being out of shape and turn those giggles into motivation! 😂🔥

New funny out of shape quotes 👇

All funny out of shape quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Threads this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

47 shares on Messenger this month:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Just shared via X:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Trending via Pinterest:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Going viral on Slack:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Just shared via Telegram:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

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