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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Trending via LinkedIn:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Making waves on Twitch:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Making waves on WeChat:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Going viral on Threads:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Just shared via Discord:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Funny overhear quotes

Funny overhear quotes are the unexpected gems 💎 that turn everyday moments into laugh-out-loud stories 😂. Whether caught in a café ☕ or on a crowded bus 🚌, these hilarious snippets of conversation bring a spark of joy and surprise to your day. Ready to giggle at the funniest eavesdrops? Let’s dive into the world of side-splitting overheard moments that prove truth really is stranger than fiction! 🎉🤣

New funny overhear quotes 👇

All funny overhear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Seen just now on YouTube:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Shared recently on X:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Trending via Telegram:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

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