Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult? Posted on3 weeks ago3 weeks ago
My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position. Posted on3 months ago3 months ago
With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop. Posted on4 months ago4 months ago
My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round. Posted onSep 22, 2023Oct 3, 2023
I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel. Posted on4 months ago4 months ago
My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that. Posted on3 months ago3 months ago
Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary. Posted on3 months ago3 months ago
Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water. Posted onNov 5, 2023Nov 5, 2023
At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday. Posted on6 months ago3 months ago
It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten. Posted onMay 20, 20243 months ago
Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon. Posted onOct 3, 2023Oct 3, 2023
Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change. Posted on4 months ago4 months ago
Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice. Posted onNov 3, 2023Nov 3, 2023
I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow. Posted on4 months ago3 months ago
Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight. Posted on1 week ago1 week ago
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid. Posted onSep 22, 2023Oct 4, 2023
I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend. Posted on3 months ago3 months ago
Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly. Posted on5 months ago5 months ago
My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again. Posted onSep 22, 2023Sep 25, 2023
The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family. Posted onSep 25, 20233 months ago