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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Just shared via X:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Trending via Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Trending via Instagram:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Live now on Reddit:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Just shared via Twitch:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

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Funny panic room quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Making waves on Discord:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Trending via Messenger:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Making waves on TikTok:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Trending via Reddit:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Trending via Facebook:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

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