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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,970

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,970

2 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Trending via WeChat:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Making waves on Slack:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Shared recently on WeChat:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Trending via TikTok:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Home » Funny Phrase Quotes

19 Funny phrase quotes

Funny phrase quotes are the perfect sprinkle of humor to brighten your day and spark laughter 😂✨ Whether you need a witty comeback or a clever twist on everyday life, these gems keep the mood light and the smiles wide 😄💬 Get ready to share some chuckles and spread good vibes with words that tickle your funny bone! 🎉🤣

New funny phrase quotes 👇

9 hours ago
Share →: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Commentary:
Clearly, it's some kind of reverse psychology Jedi mind trick. 🧙‍♂️🔮😂
13 hours ago
Share →: Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Commentary:
My interest is now piqued, and just like my eyebrows, it's staying raised! 🤨😂
14 hours ago
Share →: Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Commentary:
Bruh, even Shakespeare would be like "What's up?" 😂📚
16 hours ago
Share →: Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Commentary:
I always say "essentially" when I want to sound like I almost graduated from my TED Talk binge-watching university 🎓😄
1 day ago
Share →: Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Commentary:
Looks like our situation needs a traffic cop! 🚦😂🕵️‍♂️
2 days ago
Share →: Living la vida taco!

Commentary:
Taco 'bout living life to the fullest! 🌮🎉😄
2 days ago
Share →: If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Commentary:
When "with all due respect" is the appetizer, brace yourself for the main course of sass! 😅👀🍽️
3 days ago
Share →: You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Commentary:
😂 "Next time my barista tells me to 'enjoy the next 24 hours,' I'm ordering my coffee with a side of panic! ☕😅🚨"
5 days ago
Share →: The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Commentary:
Looks like "treating myself" is leading to some serious calorie and cash burning disasters 😂💸🍰
2 weeks ago
Share →: Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Commentary:
All I’m saying is, if there’s an elephant in the room, might as well give it a front row seat 🐘🍿😆

For even more funny phrase quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny phrase quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,970

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,970

2 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Making waves on X:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Going viral on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Breaking via WeChat:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Spotted on Threads:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m only dead on the outside.

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