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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,052

Funny Quotes Topics

13,990

Funny Quotes Images

11,052

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Live now on Twitch:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Making waves on Twitch:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Just landed via TikTok:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Shared recently on X:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,052

Funny Quotes Topics

13,990

Funny Quotes Images

11,052

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Just landed via Discord:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Spotted on Discord:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Making waves on Slack:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Going viral on Messenger:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Spotted on X:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

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