Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

658 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,251

Funny Quotes Topics

17,375

Funny Quotes Images

15,251

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,001

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I love having plans to cancel.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Breaking via YouTube:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Broadcasted on Threads:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Shared recently on Slack:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Trending via TikTok:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Spotted on Threads:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Funny Schrodinger quotes

Funny Schrodinger quotes bring quantum physics to life with a hilarious twist 🐱⚛️! Whether you’re a science geek or just love a good laugh, these witty takes on Schrodinger’s famous paradox will have you pondering and chuckling at the same time 😂🔬. Dive into a world where cats are both alive and hilarious—perfect for brightening up your day with some brainy humor! 😹💡

New funny Schrodinger quotes 👇

All funny Schrodinger quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

91 shares on X this month:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

69 shares on Discord this month:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

658 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,251

Funny Quotes Topics

17,375

Funny Quotes Images

15,251

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,648

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Just shared via YouTube:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Spotted on TikTok:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Just landed via Messenger:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Trending via Twitch:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Spotted on Telegram:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Trending via Threads:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

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