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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Trending via Threads:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Trending via Snapchat:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Seen just now on Discord:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Live now on Telegram:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Spotted on Snapchat:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Just landed via TikTok:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Funny search engine quotes

Funny search engine quotes 😂💻 bring a hilarious twist to our daily quest for answers! Whether you’re Googling life’s biggest mysteries or just procrastinating, these witty lines capture the keyboard chaos and unexpected results we all love 🤣🔍. Get ready to laugh out loud as we dive into the quirks of searching online—because who said finding info can’t be fun? 🎉✨

New funny search engine quotes 👇

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

7 days ago

consider, dark, dark web, engine, Google, Google result, humor, i, internet, internet humor, joke, online, online joke, page, result, results, search, search engine, second, web, web page
I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

1 week ago

dependency, engine, facts, Google, hope, humor, i, internet, know, knowledge, learning, maybe, never, search, search engine, six, technology, things
My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

3 weeks ago

asked, engine, give, good, Google, humor, i, ID, joke, me, plumber, rating, review, search, search engine, thought, wit

All funny search engine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

19 shares on X this month:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

29 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

First responders? You mean reply guys?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Just shared via X:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Just landed via Slack:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Shared recently on Threads:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

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