Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Just landed via Messenger:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Trending via Facebook:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Just shared via Threads:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Making waves on Facebook:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Going viral on YouTube:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Funny table cloth quotes

New funny table cloth quotes 👇

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

3 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, cloth, date, dining, embarrassing, ever, fancy, food, good, luck, moment, restaurant, self-esteem, stain, table, table cloth, white

All funny table cloth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

20 shares on X this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Trending via Slack:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Trending via Discord:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Shared recently on Threads:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny table cloth quotes

New funny table cloth quotes 👇

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

All funny table cloth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨