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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Seen just now on Threads:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Going viral on Messenger:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Spotted on Twitch:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Going viral on Telegram:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Funny taller quotes

Funny taller quotes are the perfect way to celebrate those extra inches with a laugh! 😂 Whether you’re reaching for the top shelf or towering over your friends, these witty lines bring height and humor together in the best way. 🌟 From playful jabs to clever comebacks, get ready to stand tall and smile wide! 😄📏 #TallAndProud #HeightHumor

New funny taller quotes 👇

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

0

2 months ago

around, ask, awkward, awkward question, bag, corner, difference, dude, family, family life, funny moment, height, height difference, humor, life, moment, much, open, parenting, popcorn, question, sitting, snack, surreal, taller, teenager, walk
I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

0

2 months ago

attitude, ego, height, humor, i, me, only, people, perspective, sarcasm, self-deprecating, taller
All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

0

2 months ago

big, burger, fast, fast food, food, height, humor, opinion, restaurant, saying, should, taller, width
Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

0

2 months ago

50s, aging, funny observation, height, humor, observation, taller, used, welcome

All funny taller quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on X this month:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

32 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Making waves on Discord:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Just shared via Snapchat:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Just shared via WeChat:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Making waves on Messenger:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

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