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Trending Funny Think Quotes 🔥

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.
I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.
If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!
The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”
You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

More funny think quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a marriage certificate when you've got divorce experience? It's all about that perfect balance of commitment and independence 😅💔 #RelationshipStatusExpert"
5 months ago
Share →: I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Commentary:
"Looks like it's time for a shelf makeover! 🛠️ Don't worry, you're not expired, just a vintage classic ready for a little TLC. 💤 #TimeForANap"
5 months ago
Share →: If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic social media mystery: Are they talking about me or nah? 🤔 Just remember, not everything is about you…except maybe this post. It's like a virtual game of hide and seek, but with a sprinkle of sass! 😉 #SocialMediaDrama
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Commentary:
"No need to apologize for midnight shenanigans! Just know that your crush game is out of this world 🛸💫 #LevitatingLove #SupernaturalSweetheart"
5 months ago
Share →: If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Commentary:
"Attempting the 'opposite parenting strategy' like a mad scientist? Universe be like: 'Nice try, Sherlock! Parenting puzzles are a whole different galaxy 🌌.' 🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Commentary:
"Who needs expensive vacations when you have a trusty hand stamper to create the illusion of a wild nightlife? 😄💼 #OfficeLifeGoals #StampingMyWayToAdventure"
5 months ago
Share →: I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for that ideal 'before' picture! Just six more months of procrastination, snacks, and Netflix marathons. 🍕📺 You've got this! 💪😅"
5 months ago
Share →: I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Commentary:
Oh, the dream team for all your domestic troubles! 🍳🕴️‍♀️🧹 Who needs therapy when you can have a chef cooking up delicious meals, a butler at your service, and a maid keeping things spick and span? Surely a recipe for a stress-free life, right? 😄 #DomesticBlissGoals
5 months ago
Share →: I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the noble art of oxygen-wasting, a truly underrated skill! 😅 Here we witness the master at work, gracefully sitting and triumphantly squandering precious molecules. May we all aspire to such lofty heights of idleness! 🌬️💨"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Commentary:
Looks like this husband might need a crash course in reading between the silent treatment lines! 🤐🙈😂 #CommunicationBreakdown