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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,271

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Going viral on WeChat:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Live now on Threads:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Trending via Discord:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Just shared via TikTok:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

Just shared via Twitch:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Seen just now on YouTube:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Funny zodiac quotes

Funny zodiac quotes bring the stars down to earth with a hilarious twist! 🌟😂 Whether you’re a sassy Leo, a chill Pisces, or a quirky Gemini, these witty lines capture your cosmic vibe perfectly. ✨♈️ Ready to laugh at the quirks of your sign and your friends’? Get ready for some zodiac-inspired giggles that are out of this world! 🌙💫

New funny zodiac quotes 👇

All funny zodiac quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

31 shares on Discord this month:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear music, thanks!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Breaking via Messenger:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Just landed via Twitch:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Trending via Messenger:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Seen just now on Slack:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Spotted on Twitch:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Trending via LinkedIn:

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Going bananas on X:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

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