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"I think my brain is a browser from the mid-2000s with a gazillion tabs open 🤯🌐. Can someone please press Ctrl + Alt + Delete for me? 💻🔒"
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Life is too short to leave your Roomba feeling boring and underdressed! 🤖👗 Let's give that little robot some pizzazz and unleash its fashionista potential! Who says vacuuming can't be stylish? 💃✨ #FashionForwardRobots
Riding a bike in New York City: Look Ma, no DUI! Riding in Tennessee: Just trying to stay sober…or pretending to be Lance Armstrong! 🚴♂️🚓
Move over, Superman! This superhero wakes up ready to conquer the world… of nap-taking 💤😂 #SleepySuperpowers
When life gives you lemons, it also makes sure your toothpaste, shampoo, and toilet paper run out simultaneously 😂💸 Just when you thought money couldn't slip through your fingers any faster, your toiletries team up for a surprise attack! It's like a financial obstacle course with a cheeky twist – watch out for those empty bottles and rolls! 🚿💰
Remember, money can make people do crazy things, like murder! 💸💀 So, if you want to avoid any drama and stay safe, just stay broke and enjoy the simple things in life! 🤑🚫 #BrokeButHappy
Breaking news: Celebrities defy expectations by not following your daily death predictions! Stay tuned for more shocking revelations 🤯📺 #ExpectTheUnexpected