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  • Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

    Commentary:
    🤷‍♂️ When “ew no” meets the professional world, things can get a little tricky! 🙈 Apparently, not all bosses speak the language of “ew no” fluently. Time to brush up on those communication skills, or just stick to the good ol’ eye roll and heavy sigh combo. 😉 #ProfessionalCommunicationFail

  • I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a reason to eat cake? 🎂 Life is too short to wait for birthdays! Go ahead, treat yourself and celebrate like it’s somebody’s birthday EVERY day! 🎉🍰 #CakeForEveryOccasion”

  • Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

    Commentary:
    “Reading nutrition labels is like embarking on a guessing game, but wouldn’t it be fun to have a ‘What if I ate the whole thing’ section? 🤔🍔🍟 Imagine the shock on our faces when we realize the whole bag of chips was meant to serve more than just a quick snack break! 😂 #SurpriseCalories”

  • Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

    Commentary:
    Oh, imagine the chaos if our thoughts surfaced as bubbles – picture a thought bubble popping up during a boring meeting or a first date! 💭💥 Thank goodness we can keep our inner musings a secret, saving ourselves from potential embarrassment and maintaining a little mystery in this wacky world! 🤫😅

  • Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

    Commentary:
    Well, maybe the dentist just needs some high-definition close-ups of your pearly whites for their Instagram feed! 📸😁 Who knows, your teeth might be camera-shy and prefer the spotlight of an x-ray! 😂 #DentalDrama

  • 20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

    Commentary:
    Ah, the evolution of reactions through the decades! 😂 In your 20s, it’s all laughs and fun (LOL!), then comes the 30s with a bit of shock and surprise (OMG!), and finally, the 40s hit you with a big dose of confusion and bewilderment (WTF!). Life’s rollercoaster ride of emotions captured in just a few letters! 🎢😄

  • The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

    Commentary:
    “The end of Twitter is like a never-ending journey to Mordor… Did Tolkien forget to include this in ‘The Return of the King’? 🤔🧙‍♂️✨ #TwitterQuest”

  • The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the famous correlation between rain and donuts – a classic combo like PB&J! 🌧️🍩 Who needs an umbrella when you’ve got a delicious stack of 6 donuts to keep you company on this wet and wacky adventure? But hey, who’s counting when you’re enjoying the sweet side of life, right? 😄 Embrace the rain, savor the donuts, and let the good times pour! ☔️🍩”

  • Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic Monday morning motto! 😴💤 Who needs coffee when you can just hibernate like a bear for a few days? 🐻 Just make sure to set an alarm for 72 hours later! ⏰😂”

  • Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the infamous mud season – nature’s way of reminding us that we are no match for its power! 😂🌧️ Who knew a simple combination of water, dirt, and poor flooring choices could wreak such havoc on hearts, minds, and interior decor? Here’s to hoping our carpets survive this muddy apocalypse! 🙏🏽🤣 #MudSeasonStruggles

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