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Funny Alpha quotes

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  • Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

    Commentary:
    “When you say ‘Hey!’ but really mean ‘Zzz…’” 😴😂👍

  • Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the golden era of questionable hairstyles but genuine grins! 😂📸 #TBT #RealDealSmiles”

  • Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

    Commentary:
    “Oops! Guess my ‘eye contact’ came with a free trial. 😜👀”

  • At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

    Commentary:
    “Plot Twist: Every time Prejudice appears, just yell ‘I object!’ like you’re at a wedding! 🎩😂📖”

  • Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

    Commentary:
    “When in doubt, swap meditation for meditation-ication! 😂💊🧘‍♂️”

  • Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

    Commentary:
    “Channeling my inner caveman before unleashing the fashionista within! 🦍✂️✨ #RuggedToRunway”

  • There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

    Commentary:
    “With all this money floating around, my wallet’s practicing social distancing! 💸🤣”

  • They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

    Commentary:
    “Right?! I mean, there’s no way all those talented aliens are just extras! 👽🎬 #GiveAliensCredit”

  • It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

    Commentary:
    “When did I lose my genie privileges? 😂🧞‍♂️✨”

  • If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

    Commentary:
    “When a tree falls in the forest, it makes a sound. When a husband speaks without his wife around… the sound is ‘just kidding!’” 😅🌲🗣️

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