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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Going viral on TikTok:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Trending via Discord:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Spotted on YouTube:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Spotted on TikTok:

You wish you had this many chins.

12 Funny alternate quotes

Funny alternate quotes bring a hilarious twist to familiar sayings, turning everyday wisdom into laugh-out-loud moments 😂✨. Ready to spice up your feed with quirky vibes and unexpected punchlines? These playful spins will have you grinning from ear to ear 😜🔥. Dive in and discover a fresh dose of humor that’s perfect for sharing and brightening anyone’s day! 🎉😎

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New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

46 shares on Discord this month:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

100 shares on X this month:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

88 shares on X this month:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Trending via YouTube:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Shared recently on X:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Just shared via Reddit:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Just landed via TikTok:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Live now on Threads:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

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