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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Breaking via Discord:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Shared recently on Instagram:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Just shared via Twitch:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Freshly posted on X:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Breaking via Slack:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Making waves on Messenger:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Just shared via Telegram:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Funny announcer quotes

Funny announcer quotes bring the perfect mix of wit and unexpected laughs to any event 🎤😂 From sports arenas to award shows, these clever lines keep audiences entertained and on their toes 🎉 Whether you need a quick chuckle or some playful banter, diving into these hilarious gems is sure to brighten your day 🌟 Ready to hear some announcer magic with a twist? Let’s get the fun started! 🙌😄

New funny announcer quotes 👇

All funny announcer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Discord this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

91 shares on Slack this month:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

62 shares on Discord this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix & by yourself.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Trending via Facebook:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Going viral on WeChat:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Making waves on TikTok:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Breaking via Telegram:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Making waves on Messenger:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Trending via X:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Seen just now on Threads:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

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