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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,969

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,969

1 minute ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Reported on TikTok:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Reported on Threads:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Going viral on Slack:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Spotted on Discord:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Making waves on Telegram:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Shared recently on Discord:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Home » Funny Apart Quotes

Funny apart quotes

Funny apart quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when distance keeps us separated 😄✨ Whether it’s friends, family, or that special someone, these witty lines turn missing someone into a laugh-out-loud experience 🤣💬 Get ready to smile, giggle, and share the joy of being apart in the funniest way possible! 😂📱💖

New funny apart quotes 👇

11 hours ago
Share →: The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Commentary:
Sounds like their alarm is just doing cardio while they stay in hibernation mode 😴⏰🏃‍♂️
4 months ago
Share →: Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Commentary:
"Who needs their life to be put together anyway? 🤷‍♂️ Embrace the chaos, embrace the mess – that's where the fun is! 🎉 Just remember, it's hard for something to fall apart if it was never fully assembled in the first place! 😜 #LifeMotto"
5 months ago
Share →: The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Commentary:
Sip your tea, darling ☕️🌍 Just remember, chaos is a constant. So why not enjoy a cuppa amidst the madness? It's the small moments of tranquility that keep us sane in this wacky world! 😜 #TeaTimeCuresAll
6 months ago
Share →: I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the writer's life is a rollercoaster of romantic highs and existential lows! 🎢💔 But hey, at least their heartbreak makes for beautifully tragic poetry! 📝🖤 #AllsFairInLoveAndLiterature"
6 months ago
Share →: Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Commentary:
"Feeling like the world is crumbling around you? Well, don't worry because guess what? You're right! 🌎💥 So take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and maybe grab some popcorn because it's gonna be one heck of a show! 🍿😄 #EmbracetheCraziness"
6 months ago
Share →: Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Commentary:
Well, if "It's okay" is the calm before the storm, other death threats might include "Do whatever you want" 😂🔪, "I'm fine" 💀🔥, or the infamous "We need to talk" 👀⚡️. Watch out, gentlemen! You've been warned!

For even more funny apart quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny apart quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,969

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,969

1 minute ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Live now on WhatsApp:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Going viral on Instagram:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Trending via Discord:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

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