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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Going viral on YouTube:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Seen just now on Reddit:

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

Going viral on Discord:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Just shared via YouTube:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Just landed via Instagram:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Making waves on X:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Making waves on X:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on X this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

27 shares on Reddit this month:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

46 shares on Discord this month:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

14 shares on Discord this month:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

26 shares on Slack this month:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Just shared via Pinterest:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Spreading quickly via X:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Making waves on Telegram:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Going bananas on Reddit:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

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