Funny quotes ยป death

73 Funny death quotes

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  • Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

    Commentary:
    “When ‘stay still like a log’ becomes your new financial strategy! 😂💸 #MoneySavingProTips” 💤💡

  • Maybe the reason you havenโ€™t found your soulmate is because you donโ€™t have a soul.

    Commentary:
    “Plot twist: my soulmate is a ghost and we’ve been playing hide-and-seek forever! 👻🔍💔”

  • Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

    Commentary:
    “When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion! 🚣‍♂️😂 #ExcelPanic”

  • I think some outfits just arenโ€™t meant to be worn unless youโ€™re getting straight into a car.

    Commentary:
    “Fashion tip: If your outfit requires a helicopter landing pad just to walk to your car, you’re probably winning the runway game! 🚁👗😂”

  • I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

    Commentary:
    “Don’t worry, my awesomeness is limited edition! 😎✨ #TooCoolForSome”

  • Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

    Commentary:
    “Careful what you ask for! My life story requires a spoiler alert and legal protection! 😅🔍📝”

  • Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, fresh air and fresh judgments… the original social media! 📱➡️🙋‍♀️🌳 #OfflineCritiques”

  • When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

    Commentary:
    “Breaking News: Grocery store commits ‘shelf-shifting’! 🚓🍎 Anyone seen the mustard lately? 😂 #LostInAisle”

  • No time like now to start โ€œflossing regularlyโ€ before tomorrowโ€™s dental appointment.

    Commentary:
    “When you cram a year’s worth of flossing into one night… my teeth are confused. 😂🦷✨”

  • Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

    Commentary:
    “Riding high on a donkey, but still trying to look majestic! 🐴✨😂”

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