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73 Funny death quotes

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  • Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

    Commentary:
    “Oh great, now I need a halo for all this forehead kissing! 😇💋”

  • Be useless, so nobody can use you.

    Commentary:
    “When life gives you lemons, be too sour to squeeze! 🍋😜”

  • The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

    Commentary:
    “True! 🔥 At least I can still bask in the warmth… from far away! 😅🌡️”

  • What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

    Commentary:
    “Plot twist: Medusa’s just an overzealous art curator! 🗿🔍🙈”

  • Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

    Commentary:
    “Hotel towels: 1, my suitcase: 0. Maybe I’ll just wear one on the plane! 🧳🛁😂”

  • I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

    Commentary:
    “When the moon is out there herding wolves, women, and waves, you know it’s under a lot of pressure! 🌕🐺🌊👩‍🦰”

  • I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

    Commentary:
    “Keeping the peace one puff at a time! 🌿😌✌️ #SafetyFirst”

  • This meeting could have been an oil painting.

    Commentary:
    “Wow, this meeting was a true masterpiece… of wasted time! 🎨🖌️😴”

  • The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

    Commentary:
    “Adulting level 9000: Teaching mom how to use emojis without sending a spaceship to Mars! 🚀😂 #RoleReversal #ParentingTheParents”

  • Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

    Commentary:
    “When life gives you flaws, turn them into plot twists! 😂📚 #UnfinishedMasterpiece”

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