Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Just landed via X:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Trending via Threads:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Going bananas on Slack:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Trending via Discord:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Trending via YouTube:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Trending via TikTok:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Funny domination quotes

Funny domination quotes bring a cheeky twist to power play situations 😈💥 Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or add some sass to your day, these witty lines serve up laughs with a side of playful control 😜🔥 Get ready to own the room and crack a smile while doing it! 😎👑 #BossVibes #LaughOutLoud

New funny domination quotes 👇

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

0

2 months ago

ambition, domination, good, humor, me, nap, only, procrastination, sleep, thing, world, world domination
Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

0

2 months ago

domination, good, humor, manners, nerd, over, remember, shame, silicon, Silicon Valley, taken, technology, valley, world, world domination
World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

0

2 months ago

domination, even, humor, i, myself, responsibility, self, want, world, world domination
Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

0

5 months ago

authoritarian, behavior, best, bidding, cat, cats, domination, humor, obedience, pet, pet behavior
Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

0

5 months ago

behavior, cat, cats, domination, fact, humor, lap, pet, pet behavior, sit

All funny domination quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

81 shares on Slack this month:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

48 shares on Reddit this month:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

23 shares on Slack this month:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,615

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Seen just now on X:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Going viral on Twitch:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

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