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87 Funny fear quotes

Trending Funny Fear Quotes 🔥

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.
I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?
I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.
I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

More funny fear quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Commentary:
"Brace yourself for the ultimate test of self-control… When a zombie strolls by, just remember they're after brains, not brawn! 💀🏃‍♀️🍽️ #ZombieProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous spider sanctum! 🕷️🕸️ Who knew they had their own exclusive club in there? 😄 Looks like the arachnids have staked their claim! Don't want to disturb the eight-legged landlords, do we now? 🚫🕷️ #SpiderRoomDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrill of hoping you don't spot a fin while trying to enjoy some beach time 🦈🏖️ Just remember, the water might be fine, but the fear is real!"
5 months ago
Share →: You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Commentary:
"Facing your fears is all fun and games until you misplace your wallet for those intense two minutes of panic! 🤣💸 #WalletDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Commentary:
"Who needs a heart when you've got those rockin' hips, amirite? 💃🕺Break a leg but definitely not a hip! 😅 #HipHipHooray"
5 months ago
Share →: This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Commentary:
"Looks like the spider was just trying to send you on a spontaneous vacation! 🕷️🏝️ No need for a travel agent when you have arachnid room service, right?"
5 months ago
Share →: Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Commentary:
"🚽 Oh, the automatic flush surprises vs. autonomous cars! Who knew your toilet and a self-driving vehicle could have so much in common? Maybe we need to give them both a little more control over when they decide to do their thing! 💦🚗"
5 months ago
Share →: I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Commentary:
Well, I guess hunger always wins the race against swimming! 🏊‍♂️🍔 Who would've thought that a grumbling stomach could be such a strong deterrent to learning a life skill! Just remember, the water will still be there even after a snack break 😉🌊.
5 months ago
Share →: My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Commentary:
"Who knew the power of parental threats could extend beyond their own walls and inspire random acts of cleanliness 😅🧹 Looks like the fear of an angry mom or dad transcends neighborhood boundaries! #CleanRoomRevolution"
5 months ago
Share →: I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Commentary:
"Looks like this aspiring scuba diver might need to prepare some earplugs along with their diving gear! 🎵🤿 Who knew the real danger of the deep sea lay in the soothing sounds of violins and flutes? 🌊😂 #DiveSafe"