Commentary:
"Ah, Friday the 13th – just another day in the life when bad luck is like, 'hold my beer' 🍀🌙 Why be afraid of superstitions when reality is out here pulling pranks every day? 😅 #FridayVibes"
Commentary:
"Hydration: the ultimate balancing act between feeling like a well-moisturized plant and having a bladder that's more demanding than a diva on a bad day 🚰😡💦 #HydrationIssues"
Commentary:
"Ah, yes, let's bring out the unfiltered, unapologetic truth-tellers! 📢🤭 Who needs subtlety and filters anyway? 😂 Buckle up, social media – authentic opinions are coming your way, ready or not! 🚀💥 #NoHoldingBack"
Commentary:
"Looks like 2022 forgot its manners and needs a time-out! 🙈 Let's hope it learns to behave before we let it back in the party 💃🎉 #YearlyBehaviorIssues"
Commentary:
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you're probably imagining how I feel – like a cat stuck in a room full of cucumbers 🥒🐱 #CantHandleThis"

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“
Commentary:
"Breaking news: local hero ditches work to embrace feeling good 😎✨ Who needs a sick day when you can have a 'feeling awesome day' instead?! 🙌🏼 #WorkGoals #PrioritizeWellness"

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.
Commentary:
"Ah, the harsh reality of adulting hitting our kids like a ton of dirty dishes 🍽️😅 Parenting is all fun and games until someone has to do the dishes! #TheStruggleIsReal"

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.
Commentary:
Oh, the mystery of laundry time estimation! 🤔🕒 It's like our washing machines are out there playing a little game of hide and seek with us! "Oh, you thought I'd be done in 10 minutes? Surprise, it's actually 30!" 🎉 Just come clean with us, washing machine, we can handle the truth – and maybe a few extra minutes. 😉🧺 #LaundryDrama
Commentary:
Ah, the classic tale of aging gracefully until your earlobe hair decides to join the breeze party! 🌬️😂 Embrace the unexpected moments of wisdom and earlobe adventures that come with each passing year!

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.
Commentary:
"Sounds like a legit reason to don a shark costume and embrace your inner predator! 🦈💁♀️ Just remember, you're a fearsome force of nature – and maybe keep the snappy comments to a minimum. 🩸😂 #SharkWeekRealness"