Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Going viral on Twitch:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Trending via Discord:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Trending via Reddit:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Going viral on YouTube:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Breaking via Discord:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Just shared via Facebook:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Funny food love quotes

Funny food love quotes serve up a delicious mix of laughter and heartwarming vibes 🍕❤️ Whether you’re crushing on pizza, burger bae, or that irresistible chocolate crush 🍫😍, these playful sayings add spice to your foodie feelings. Ready to savor some chuckles and munch on love? Let’s dive into a tasty world where food and affection blend perfectly! 🍔😂💕

New funny food love quotes 👇

All funny food love quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

98 shares on X this month:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

52 shares on X this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

76 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,374

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Spotted on WeChat:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Just landed via Telegram:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Just shared via YouTube:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

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